Why the Blessing of the Fleet Is So Special in Stonington, Connecticut

Last week I shared the guide to visiting Stonington, CT. One of the annual July events, The Blessing of the Fleet was this past weekend. The Blessing of the Fleet has been happening for 60+ years in Stonington borough. A tradition to honor our fishermen and their families as well as remembering the ones we lost. Read more about it here.

This year was the first time that Town Dock hosted an Open House on Saturday. I attended and got a peek inside of the fishing vessels that I often photograph. I didn’t realize that I’d be walking away with an expanded knowledge and even MORE appreciation for our fishermen!

I toured two different type of fishing vessels:

F/V Tradition

This boat goes out for 2-4 days. If they catch squids, then it is shorter trip because squids doesn’t stay fresh for long. This crew is usually 2-4 people. The captain even sometimes goes out alone! The boat is a lot smaller compared to the scallop boat.

F/V Furious

The scallop boat goes out 6x a year, for 5-15 days at a time. There is usually a crew of 5-6 people. This boat was HUGE, close to 60 feet long. We started the tour on the deck, where the scallops first comes on board. They go through a sorting process (weeding out baby scallops, rocks, etc). Meanwhile, they only have 50 minutes before the next net of scallops comes in! The scallops are then brought into a room inside the vessel where they’re dumped into a trough. In there, the scallops are cut out of the shells and washed. 50 pounds of scallops are put into a bag that goes down a chute to the chilled storage space below the deck.

Another surprising fact that I learned was that the captain actually helps with this process WHILE piloting the boat from that room. That room is in the back of the boat so there is no direct view of water in the front. This processing room does have a GPS/spotter that the captain uses to navigate.

After learning the processing of scallops, we saw the gallery and kitchen. I watch too many TV shows, so I always thought fishermen doesn’t shower while they’re out on the seas. I can confirm that F/V Furious DOES have a shower! The fisherman also shared that they bring about $3K worth of food for their voyage. They work in 6 hour shifts. Every day they must report about their catch: how many they got, what trip and even the location, all this information goes to the regulatory committee.  It is important that the scallops, and all other seafood, are not over fished.

F/V Furious also can be limited to where they can fish on the water, which is why the regulatory committee also need to know their location. While we were touring the piloting section of the boat (called the wheelhouse), they answered any questions that people had.  We were told one story about a recent gas fill up that ran over $40K. The crew is not paid a salary, instead each crew member is given some portion of shares of the profit, so unfortunately they all feel the pain of raising supply costs.

I always had an appreciation for our fishermen, but this tour allowed us to ask all the questions and learn more in depth about their trips. Obviously I never knew all of the behind-the-scene details - how long they leave for, how much things cost them, how long their shifts are, etc. This tour showed how they truly work hard to bring amazing fresh seafood to our shoreline town. I’m really glad that the Town Dock hosted the Open House this year!

Please support them by purchasing LOCAL seafood. There is a Sea Well right there at the town dock. The seafood is in a freezer and it is a honor system, you pay for what you get (there’s a price list in the window). See more retailers (and restaurants!) that has Stonington Fresh seafood here.

Please inform me if I got any facts incorrect as it was a verbal tour. I didn’t think to take notes as I did not expect to have my knowledge expanded as much it did!

Slow Down in Stonington, Connecticut: A Local-Style Travel Guide

A hop over from Mystic, visit the quintessential New England historical town of Stonington. The borough quickly became a favorite place of mine when I first moved here. I was drawn to the beautiful homes lining the main street. Stonington is the oldest village in Connecticut, established in 1649. It’s the perfect destination during any season, I love to take a stroll around the borough!

Here are some suggestions of what to do in Stonington:

Shop the local businesses

There are a variety of shops up and down the main street from clothing, floral, jewelry, antiques, art galleries, boutiques and more.

Walk around the borough

There are several routes in Stonington. There is a short coastline trail in front of Stonington Commons, if you walk down the paved path from the Yacht Club to the gazebo - the trail will start there. Another route is inside Dodge Paddock/Beal Preserve. Go down Wall Street and you’ll find a small lot to park in. The trail is through the marshes with views of the harbor.

Visit the locations of where movies were filmed

See the Mystic Pizza blog here. Many of the locations were filmed in Stonington. Another movie, Hope Springs starring Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones also was filmed in Stonington. You will recognize the yellow house near the Cannon Square as ‘the therapist office’ in the movie. A few Hallmark/Lifetime holiday movies also have been filmed here.

Stonington Fishermen Dock

I enjoy coming here a lot to photograph the fishing fleet. It is open to the public from dawn to dusk. Please respect the fishermen and don’t touch or use their equipments. I do have to warn, the seafood smell can be STRONG so if you don’t like the scent, this is not the place for you! There is a small lot near the overlook where you can enjoy the views (and sometime watch people fish!). Nearby the dock, you can purchase frozen seafood from Sea Well Seafood to bring home.

Old Lighthouse

Built in 1840, it has a beautiful stonework on the exterior. Recently, the museum inside the lighthouse underwent a renovation, and it looks amazing! Very open and spacious. There is an admission fee of $10 for adults. This fee will allow you entry to the tower (top of the lighthouse), the views can be breathtaking! I often enjoy the grounds of the lighthouse with my pup, as well many other dogs.

DuBois Beach

Across the street from the lighthouse is a small beach. During the summers you will need a pass to enter. During off season it is open to the public. The parking lot gives you a 360 view of the harbor. You can see the Ocean House in Watch Hill, RI. One of the best spots for sunsets!

Dine in many of Stonington’s restaurants

There are several restaurants in Stonington that are really good! My favorite breakfast spot is Indulge Coffee and Sandwich Co. Indulge, a quaint neighborhood spot with delicious egg sandwiches, coffee and more. They have gluten free options! For lunch or dinner, I love Breakwater. You cannot beat the waterfront views during the warm months. The shrimp tacos are the best! Noah’s Restaurant is also a wonderful long time institution in Stonington (40+ years!). A true local’s spot. It’s always so cozy especially during the holidays. Dog Watch Cafe is another good one! They have a dock overlooking the water and the boatyard, which is a must during the summer.

Velvet Mill

A bit way out of the borough, but not too far, is a repurposed mill with many small businesses. A variety of artists studios, antiques, clothing, health services (massage, yoga, etc), tattoo parlor, bakery to restaurants. There’s even a brewery in there. Velvet Mill is a great hidden gem in Stonington. I love stopping in Zest for the gluten free goods. Woodfella’s Pizza and Wings also has been a long time favorite of mine, both pizza and wings are so good! The best part about Velvet Mill is that it’s dog friendly too!

There are so many events that occurs in Stonington. Here are a few that I’ve attended and really enjoyed!

Tulips [April]

In the spring there are thousands of tulips blooming all around the borough. The majority of them were around the green where Stonington Free Library is. It’s always so beautiful to see. I had read somewhere that there was 3,000 tulips planted!

Gardens by the Sea [June]

The Stonington Garden Club hosts this event in June. A walking tour of gardens in the borough, where some private residences open up their property to the public for a fee. It is a very popular event in the borough, and it always is packed that weekend! The tour tickets for this event can be purchased online (Stonington Garden Club website) or on-site.

Fourth of July Parade [July]

The parade and reading of the Declaration of Independence is a tradition in the borough on Fourth of July. The Stonington Historical Society hosts this event annually. It’s always one of the best times of the year in Stonington when the whole village is decked out patriotically. Small town living at its best!

Blessing of the Fleet [July]

An annual event I always look forward to at end of July. It is a weekend long event honoring our lobstermen and their families, as well remembering the lost ones. The weekend usually starts with a 5K through the borough. On Saturday, Stonington Holy Ghost Society hosts a gathering with live music and food. On Sunday, there will be a mass at St. Mary’s Church. After the mass, there will be a ceremony at the fishermen dock. The boats are usually decked out for the ceremony - very nautical! The vessels goes out in the water where they are blessed and lay a wreath for the lost fishermen. This year, there will be an open house at the fishermen dock where you can tour some of the vessels! Read more about it here.

Village Fair [August]

A long time tradition going back to 1952, the fair consists of many vendors, games, music, food and many more. One of my favorite part, there’s a used book sale! It’s a great community event open to everyone! The fair is in the Wadawanuck Square.

Holiday stroll [December]

I regularly attend this every year. The main street is decked out in holiday garnish, the shops stays opened late, horse carriage rides, people milling around with friends, and there’s the Christmas tree lighting ceremony in the square near the library.

Stonington Lobster Trap Tree [Late November-January]

New to Stonington’s holiday tradition, there is a lobster trap tree on the green in front of the fishermen dock. It is a stunning display with amazing community involvement. All buoys are hand painted by local artists. I enjoyed visiting this tree several times last winter and appreciated all the beautiful artwork/buoys. I am very much look forward to seeing it again this winter!

100th anniversary of Mystic Drawbridge

Mystic is celebrating a huge milestone this week… the 100th anniversary of the Mystic Drawbridge! The bascule bridge is the oldest operating in the United States. Even if you haven’t been to Mystic, you will recognize the bridge on many logos, tourism ads, clothing and much more! The bridge is located in the downtown, it’s hard to miss! The bascule bridge is a movable bridge with counter weights that lifts the bridge. During the summers, it goes up every hour at the 40 mark. (8:40, 9:40, etc) from 8am-8pm. The best viewing spot is obviously in the Mystic River Park nearby.

Mystic Chamber is hosting several events to honor the 100th anniversary of the bridge. The fireworks show will be occurring in October. They also have a visitor’s center at the foot of the bridge for this summer, showcasing the history and artwork of the Mystic Drawbridge. Signature bridge souvenirs are also sold here, as well in many of Downtown shops.

Also at Groton Public Library, The Mystic River Historical Society set up a small exhibit with the history of the Mystic Drawbridge. I found it very interesting when I went there back in May. Several photos shows the drawbridge going back to the 1800’s. It is the 100th anniversary of when the bridge became moveable, opening the bridge for the first time on July 19, 1922. There also is a section about what the drawbridge was like the day ‘Mystic Pizza’ was filmed (the only scene filmed in Mystic). The exhibit will be there until October 31st, free of charge and open during library hours.

It’s amazing how many of my memories includes this landmark. I visited Mystic in the Summer of 2010 before moving here later that year. I remember standing on the drawbridge looking toward Mystic Seaport, thought about how much I fell in love with the town and could see myself living in this coastal town. Two months later, a job offer was received — just a town over! It was meant to be! When I got my Dalmatian, the first “family photo” was taken here. Many summers were spent here with my family visiting from Upstate NY. Too many fond memories to list them all!

Watching the bridge go up and down will never get old. I enjoy that 10-20 minutes of time standing still, looking around at the scenery on the river and watching the visitors in awe of the bridge (also laugh at those who aren’t familiar with the bridge’s horn). I still enjoy photographing the bridge through all seasons and at different times of the day. I admire other people’s photographs of the bridge - it’s amazing how many different photos we can get of this landmark!

The bridge isn’t the only thing to see in Mystic. Within walking distance of the bridge, in Downtown there are many shops, plethora of restaurants, art museum and galleries, diverse bookstore, ice cream shops and many more.

Here’s to another 100 years of this beautiful drawbridge in Mystic!

A Stroll Through History: Visiting Old Wethersfield, CT

Do you know where the oldest and largest historic district in Connecticut is?! Old Wethersfield, CT! Located 10 minutes outside of Hartford, CT. It is the quintessential New England village! I went to visit one weekend in early 2020, because I had noticed a lot posts at a particular location. I quickly fell in love with Old Wethersfield, I’ve returned many, many times! If it wasn’t for my love of the shoreline living, I would’ve picked to live in Old Wethersfield.

Here are some suggestions of what to do in Old Wethersfield:

Heirloom Market at Comstock Ferre

This is the particular location that often popped up on Instagram. A natural food market combined with a cafe. What I love about the cafe is that they use fresh and local ingredients! They do offer gluten free options. I’ve stopped in for their sandwiches several times, even when I’m just passing through. It’s THAT GOOD! Walking in there always feels like a year-round farmer’s market. I also admire how it’s housed in an old historic (200+ years old!) industrial antique building. Truly the best spot to visit!

Walk around the district

It’s the best town for historic homes. I’m always in awe of the homes there, often photographing them during all seasons. I’ve learned the history of some homes which has been so fascinating to discover. I often walk on Main Street from Heirloom Market down to Wethersfield Cove and back. There’s also some historical buildings. The one that you can’t miss as it’s the first you see coming in Old Wethersfield from I-91 - the First Church, the brick church with a beautiful white steeple. Witch trials were held there during the 17th century. There is a cemetery behind it with some stones dating back to 1600’s.

Wethersfield Cove

At the end of Main Street, you’ll find yourself at Wethersfield Cove. It is a park, with a cove that is connected to Connecticut River. Plenty of picnic tables and benches are around the park to enjoy the beautiful waterfront views. Many people have fished here and use the public boat launch to access the Connecticut River. You can’t miss the historical building at the cove, the warehouse, built in 1600s. It was restored in 1934 and currently operates as a museum [Wethersfield Historical Society].

Visit the museums

• Webb-Deane-Stevens Museum. The houses are from 18th century and was home of Revolutionary War diplomat Silas Deane. They are available to host for weddings, the rustic barn on their property would make a beautiful backdrop!

• The Buttolph-Williams House, which was the setting in the book ‘The Witch of Blackbird Pond’.

• Hurlbut-Dunham House, a historical brick house was the home of social and civic leaders, Jane and Howard Dunham.

• Keeney Memorial Cultural Center is across the street from Webb-Deane-Stevens museum. It houses the visitor’s center for Old Wethersfield, where you can get more information about the town and what it has to offer. The Wethersfield Museum is also housed in there, providing more information about the history!

Silas W. Robbins House [bed and breakfast]

I quickly fell in love with this beautiful bed and breakfast. It is one of the most gorgeous home I have ever seen in my life! The house even caught the attention of Hallmark Channel, as it was the setting in a Christmas movie, ‘Christmas at Honeysuckle Lane’. The owners does an amazing job of exterior decor each season, especially at Christmas time! I’ve been lucky to photograph the house during all seasons. One year I finally got a tour of the inside - it is as gorgeous! It’s surely on my bucket list to stay there overnight!

Main Street Creamery

You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, visit Old Wethersfield without getting an ice cream from Main Street Creamery! It’s one of my favorite ice cream shops in Connecticut with plethora of delicious flavors. Yes, there are gluten free/vegan options! Be sure to have some cash handy.

Support local

There are several shops across the street from the First Church. An antique shop, a home decor boutique, an old fashioned general store, seeds store and more. Pop in some of them and you’ll be sure to find something for yourself or someone!

Attend the events

Many events occur in Old Wethersfield from April to December! My two favorites are the Bicycles on Main [May] and Scarecrows Along Main [October].

Old Wethersfield is truly the perfect town for history lovers. The town preserved the rich history, making it perfect destination for a weekend getaway or for the day trippers. I also love that it’s a low cost, but still has plenty to do and see. You will fall in love with Old Wethersfield!

A Local’s Guide to Every Mystic Pizza Filming Location

When you drive through Downtown Mystic, most often you’ll see someone or a group taking a selfie photo under the Mystic Pizza sign. The pizza parlor is the inspiration for the romantic-comedy movie, Mystic Pizza. It was filmed in Mystic, CT and the surrounding areas in 1987-88.

Mystic Pizza is a romantic-comedy movie following the lives of three young women (starring Julia Roberts, Annabeth Gish and Lili Taylor) who work at Mystic Pizza as waitresses. It also follows their romantic adventures. The screenwriter was inspired when she visited Mystic Pizza to use it in the movie.

When I visited Mystic for the first time in the summer of 2010, before I officially moved here, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of people taking pictures at Mystic Pizza! This is when I learned of the movie. I had never seen the movie but when I moved here, I finally watched it. Now it is one of my favorites that I watch on repeat!

Many do not realize that the pizza parlor in Downtown Mystic wasn’t the one used in the movie. The restaurant couldn’t afford to close for the duration of the filming so they created a fictional Mystic Pizza set in Stonington. After the movie was released, the original Mystic Pizza underwent a renovation to be similar to the one in the movie. If you do go for a slice of heaven, the restaurant is filled of memorabilia of still photos, posters, etc on the walls with the movie showing on all TV’s. Mystic Pizza also offers merchandise such as t-shirts, hats, stickers, glasses and more. At the time of the movie release, Mystic Pizza couldn’t keep up with the demand so a second location opened in North Stonington in 1991. Mystic Pizza II is at 211 Providence New London Turnpike, North Stonington. The menus are very similar using the same family ingredients for their pizzas. Mystic Pizza II has a more low key setting while Mystic Pizza is mostly filled with visitors who visit Mystic. Either location is worthwhile to check out and the pizza is really good!!

I do suggest that you watch the movie first before you take the self guided tour around the Mystic region. It’s fun to see the filming locations! Do keep in mind that some are private residences, so please respect the homeowners and do not trespass on their properties.

In Mystic, Connecticut:

• 56 W Main Street - The original Mystic Pizza (not filmed in movie, but inspired it).

• Drawbridge - A couple scenes were filmed here. One scene is when Bill and Jojo exchanged words about the fishing boat’s rename (which was an insult to Jojo). The second scene shows Charlie driving over the drawbridge with Daisy on the way to their first date.

• 75 Greenmanville Ave - The planetarium where Kat worked. It is the Mystic Seaport’s Treworgy Planetarium. It requires a museum admission to enter the planetarium.

• 105 Greenmanville Ave - The pizza critic scene was filmed in the tavern at Latitude 41 Restaurant. (UPDATE: Latitude 41 is no longer there, it has been demolished).

Mystic Pizza [the inspiration] - 56 W Main St

Drawbridge [a couple scenes filmed here] - Downtown Mystic

Planetarium at Mystic Seaport Museum [Kat’s workplace] - 75 Greenmanville Ave

Latitude 41 [interior shots] - 105 Greenmanville Ave

In Stonington, Connecticut:

• 72 Water Street - The fictional Mystic Pizza location was filmed here. It currently is the home of New England Science & Sailing Foundation (NESS).

• 66 Water Street (behind NESS) - The interior shots of ‘Mystic Harbor Yacht Club’ where Charlie and Daisy had their first date. It is currently the Breakwater restaurant.

• Cannon Square Park - A brief scene was shown here when Kat delivered a pizza to her mom.

• 53 Church Street - The home of Charlie Windsor (Daisy’s boyfriend). It currently is a private residence. You can see the house from the sidewalk.

• 201 North Main Street - 'Peg Leg Pub’ where Daisy met Charlie.

• North Main Street x Pequot Trail - The hitchhiking scene. Charlie and Daisy were filmed here hitchhiking when Charlie’s car had a flat tire.

NESS [Mystic Pizza restaurant] - 72 Water St

Breakwater [Mystic Harbor Yacht Club] - 66 Water St

Cannon Square [Kat delivering pizza] - Stonington

Private residence [Charlie Windsor’s family home] - 53 Church St

Private property [Peg Leg Pub] - 201 N Main St

Pequot Trail [car breakdown/hitchhiking scene] - Pequot Trail x N Main St

In Pawcatuck, Connecticut:

• 185 & 187 Mechanic Street - the homes of Daisy, Kat and Jojo. Both are currently private residences. You can view the home from the sidewalk or drive-by. The interior scenes of bedrooms/second floor were filmed at 17 Broadway Ext, Mystic (also a private residence).

• Fishing docks - Bill’s work place was filmed in one of the marinas off Mechanic Street, right across from the houses.

Private residence [one of the girls home] - 185 Mechanic St

Private residence [the other girls’ home] - 187 Mechanic St

Marina [Bill’s workplace] - Mechanic St

In Noank, Connecticut (GPS might use Groton for city):

• 15 Riverview Ave - Ferriera Lobsters, the workplace of Daisy and Kat’s mom. It is the location of Haring’s Noank.

• 87 Front Street - The movie opened with the exterior of the church where Bill and Jojo’s wedding took place. It currently is a private residence. You will notice that the steeple is gone. The interior scenes were filmed at 780 State Pier Rd, New London (formerly a church, now is a homeless shelter).

Ford’s Lobster [Ferriera Lobsters] - 15 Riverside Ave

Private residence [church] - 87 Front St

In Westerly, Rhode Island:

• Breen Street - Tim Travers’ home. The house filmed in the movie has been demolished.

• 4 Water’s Edge Road - Tim Travers’ client home that he was renovating. It is a private residence, which you can see from the road.

• 60 Ocean View Highway - The country club where Charlie had dinner with his sister (Daisy mistook the sister as a date). It is the location of Misquamicut Club.

Private residence [Tim’s client home he was renovating] - 4 Water’s Edge Rd

Misquamicut Club [country club] - 60 Ocean View Highway

The Mystic area has been in a few movies. A few Hallmark holiday movies were filmed in Mystic and Stonington as well other locations across the Nutmeg State. Meryl Streep and Tommy Jones filmed a movie Hope Springs (2012) in Stonington, CT. The Cannon Square was frequently shown in Hope Springs, as well the Breakwater restaurant. Mystic Pizza movie is one of the reasons why visitors come to Mystic! It’s amazing that 30+ years later, the movie is still popular. Happy hunting and don’t forget to get a slice of heaven!

Mystic Pizza’s sign in Downtown Mystic

Why I Chose Not to Get Cochlear Implants

Cochlear implants. A taboo word in the deaf world.

For those who aren’t familiar with what cochlear implants are - it’s an electronic device installed under the skin behind the ears. It consists of many parts to help transmit sounds to the outer device (it looks similar to hearing aids). This process requires surgery which is usually done in the same day or overnight. It is a common misconception that cochlear implants would cure deafness. It does not. The cochlear implants are another aid for deaf people to be able to hear some sounds and speech. After surgery, they have to go through intensive therapy on speech and learn the sounds.

So many people describe cochlear implants as a “medical miracle” but yet dumbfounded when they come across deaf people who turned it down. It is a controversial topic in the deaf community. There are some deaf people who are against it because they feel that it oppresses them so they actually frown upon the deaf people who do get cochlear implants. Most often the deaf people with cochlear implants feel rejected from the deaf community.

I learned about this controversy when I attended college. I went to Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT) which had many colleges including National Technical Institute for the Deaf (NTID). This is the reason for the large deaf community in Rochester, New York. I observed many sub groups within the deaf community at RIT. There was the “deaf pride” group who were raised by deaf parents, attended deaf institutes, fully emerged into the deaf culture. There were the “mainstreamed” folks who were raised in a hearing world but immersed some deaf culture in their lives such as using sign language. There was the “oral” group which often applied to those with cochlear implants; they often didn’t use sign language but relied on lipreading and talking. It was interesting to learn about from all kinds of D/deaf lives.

Those who are against cochlear implants don’t see their deafness as something that needs to be fixed. They use examples of successful deaf people out there in the world - famous actors/actresses, artists, athletes, and even musicians proving that there are many who are satisfied with being deaf. It’s often explained that deaf people can do everything but hear. Another reason why the fear of cochlear implants is impacting the deaf culture is the belief that if technology continues to be used to help deaf people then sign language/deaf culture would decline.

Most deaf children are born to hearing parents. It is common for doctors to push cochlear implants. With the hearing parents’ initial shock once finding out their child is diagnosed with deafness, it can provide a false sense of hope that they will be cured with cochlear implants.

During college I met so many deaf people who received cochlear implants at a young age and were no longer using it. When I asked them for their reasons, the common replies were (1) that they weren’t happy with their parents’ decision (2) it causes a lot of headaches or (3) did not see a benefit in using them/were not a successful tool for them. Those that I did know that actively used cochlear implants were the ones who decided later on in their teens/young adult years. Again, that does not apply to everyone but it was an observation I had from my college years.

So what is my opinion on cochlear implants?

My parents heard about them when I was 8 years old. They met with someone to discuss the whole process of getting cochlear implants for me. At the time, it was determined that I was not a viable candidate for cochlear implants because the company who manufactured them was very new. The technology at the time also was not advanced for my level of hearing loss (profound loss). The company was specifically targeting senior citizens who lost their hearing or late deafened people.

The technology advanced over years so cochlear implants were a possibility for me again. I was asked in my high school years if I would consider getting them. I let the fear of being in surgery prevent me from making a decision.

When I went to college, I had many friends who had cochlear implants so I was able to learn more about them. As I mentioned before, some friends described they received more headaches which I did not want. The implants also would take away any residual hearing, which I have a tiny bit of, that I wanted to hang onto! Another turn off for me was having to get the cochlear implants updated every few years so that meant going in for a few surgeries throughout my life. I still have a fear of being in any kind of surgery so that wasn’t appealing to me!

I am not against cochlear implants. I support people who want them. I have seen where it is successful for some people while it wasn’t for some other people. The key in my final decision was that I am comfortable with being deaf. I like my silence. I don’t like major changes. I couldn’t imagine going from my silent world to a world with sounds. I’ve had so many people who couldn’t understand how I would pass up on them when they could be a huge asset. The results of cochlear implants aren’t same for everyone so there is no way of knowing how successful it would be for me. It wasn’t enough of a risk for me to take because it took a long time for me to love myself as a deaf individual.

All opinion in this blog are my own. It does not reflect the opinions of other deaf members.

Catholic Church + Deaf Accessibility

With Easter last Sunday, I have been thinking about my childhood memories of going to the church and the traditional Easter gatherings with my family. I grew up Catholic, even attended Sunday school up until 4th grade. 

On Instagram, I saw a post sharing that only 2% of Deaf people know Jesus Christ. There are approximately 400+ million of Deaf people worldwide. Honestly, that post didn’t surprise me. It took me back down memory lane of growing up in the Catholic Church and the accessibility issues that I had. 

My mom was the sole interpreter for the Church masses. Of course, she would be standing next to me, and she couldn’t interpret EVERY single word.  Adding to this we were seated in the back and not all of the speakers were clearly for people sitting that far away. I also have to be transparent, I was a child/teen at same time so yes, there were times when I didn’t always listen out of boredom. 

St. Patrick’s Church - Dublin, Ireland - 2015.

Sunday school was a hour long of religious education based on grade levels. I was among peers my age/grade. I remember every morning we all started school by standing in the lobby reciting ‘The Lord’s Prayer’. The only memory I have from this, is how I would use this time to people-watch. I had a volunteer interpreter who helped me out in the classroom. I recall that she knew some basic ASL but she wasn’t certified. We had our own corner of the table, while other kids sat in groups. I attended for a few years and don’t recall any friends that I made, likely because I was isolated in the corner. I don’t have a clear memory of why I stopped attending, but I believe that my parents saw that I wasn’t getting an education out of Sunday school. 

I also stopped attending church weekly (we went every Sunday). I only went for special occasions such as Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc. It didn’t bother me that I was missing out, I was actually relieved. That continued through my college years until the last year. I got curious and tried to find a Catholic Church in Rochester, NY that would have an interpreter. Rochester, NY is home of the largest Deaf community. I couldn’t find any, or maybe I wasn’t looking in the right places. I had a close friend who was going to a Baptist church she brought me to some events. I met other Deaf Christians. I went to a Bible meeting, it was conducted in ASL. They discussed, shared thoughts, prayed, etc. I went to a few masses where they had an interpreter for the Deaf section (approximately 20 people). The church even had a blow up screen that was focused on the interpreter for people in the back to see. It was very accessible. As much I wanted to have that, I didn’t have connection with the Baptist beliefs as I was Catholic. 

I didn’t look into the church again until I moved to Connecticut. One year I was thinking about how I wish I had a better understanding of the religion that I was raised in. Especially more so with having kids in the future. I thought long and hard how my future kids would learn about being Catholic when I wasn’t confident in knowing the religion that well myself. I decided to email several of local Catholic Churches around the area asking if they were willing to hire interpreters. I received ZERO replies. 

Kylemore Abbey - Connemara, Ireland - 2017.

After a while, I felt desperate. I emailed them again and asked if they had any parishioners who knew ASL and would volunteer their time to help me during the masses. Again, ZERO replies. I contacted two different Dioceses (a region of Catholic Churches that is ran under a bishop). There was a church locally in Norwich/Preston (20-25 minutes away) that had an interpreter right before I moved to the area. Unfortunately, they didn’t have enough Deaf participants to keep the interpreter. They were nice enough to email other Dioceses and tried to find a solution for me. 

A few years later, I found a couple of Roman Catholic Churches with interpreted masses that were in Providence, Rhode Island which would be a hour and half commute from where I lived. I didn’t feel committed to making that drive weekly. Especially if I was alone. I dropped the ball on this as I didn’t see it as a priority. 

During the pandemic, what a game changer! I was able to live stream masses, there was even a Deaf priest in Boston, MA. I was amazed to watch several masses where the ENTIRE THING WAS IN SIGN LANGUAGE. I didn’t think I’d find a Deaf priest as I had been focused on interpreted masses. It was really cool to watch that. I was so excited about finding this access and I finally was learning a bit. Unfortunately, the live streaming didn’t last long as they returned to in-person masses. I was really disappointed.

Black Abbey - Kilkenny, Ireland - 2015.

I am also interfaith and to learn more about the other religion, I attended some of the Deaf Hillel club events in college. The Rabbi who ran the Deaf Hillel was fluent in ASL so all events were signed in ASL. I recall my first Passover dinner where everyone signed. I learned so much about Passover and its meaning because the Rabbi signed the entire time. I felt guilt sometimes because I felt like I knew a LOT about the Jewish religion more than Catholic. All it took was having accessibility!

It’s always frustrating to have limited accessibility. It also doesn’t help when the religion itself is so complex. Even within the same religion, people have different beliefs and ideologists. There are so MANY types of religion, yet ZERO access for us. Many Deaf people don’t know religion. I felt like it was something important because a huge part of my childhood revolved around growing up in the Catholic Church. 

It took a long time for me to stop feeling guilty for something that is out of my control (lack of accessibility). I had been so focused on finding the accessibility that I forgot to spiritually connect in my own time. There had been few years when I didn’t feel like I was Catholic. I realized that I don’t need to be in a church to proof that I’m Catholic. I’ll continue to believe in what I know already and spiritually connect in my own way. Hopefully someday I can walk in a Catholic Church and have the accessibility provided as it should be for everyone. 

St. Mary’s Cathedral - Killarney, Ireland - 2015

Historic Homes, River Views & Small-Town Charm: Essex, CT

Essex, CT is a small town on the Connecticut River in Middlesex county. Approximately a 40 minutes drive from Mystic, it is a beautiful historical village to stroll around! I only visited it for the first time in 2019 and now I always have to go there a few times every year since! 

Here are some suggestions of what to do in Essex:

Essex Steam Train

For the last decade, I kept hearing about Essex Steam Train especially during the holidays when they have Polar Express themed rides. I haven’t ride on the train yet, but it is on my list to do. They also have dinner trains. Essex Steam Train goes on a 12-miles long scenic ride through the Connecticut River Valley. I only can imagine how beautiful the views are during fall with the foliage! The trains are 1920’s locomotive steam trains, I enjoyed walking around the train station photographing them. 

Main Street/Essex Town Green 

Historic Essex Village is a very walkable main street with shops, businesses, restaurants and more. I admire a lot of beautiful homes that lines the main street. There is a town green that overlooks the water. A beautiful gazebo sits in the middle of the park. Every time I went there during summer or fall, there’s were always people picnicking in the park. 

Olive Oyl’s 

Olive Oyl’s offers various sandwiches and sides. It’s also a fun spot as it is in a restored gas station. There is a lot of memorabilia and signs hanging on the walls. It’s my go-to for a quick bite! 

Griswold Inn 

If you prefer a sit down experience, don’t look any further than Griswold Inn. One of the oldest operating Inn in America since 1776. Back in those days, it was the destination for seafarers as the Connecticut River is right down the street. I loved all the historical tidbits about this Inn, it is full of history! It currently houses a restaurant, tap room and lounging. The interior design nods to the nautical history of the Inn, which I loved! The food is very delicious, a traditional New England cuisine. I’ve had the clam chowder and fish which were good! 

Goods & Curiosities 

The Griswold Inn gift shop is located across the street. Here you will find merch with ‘Gris’ logo, nautical inspired goods, barware/home decor, candles, books and many more. It is a fun shop to poke around. It’s always a must stop whenever I come to Essex. 

Connecticut River Museum

A short walk from Griswold Inn is the Connecticut River Museum housed in a restored 1878 three-story steamboat warehouse. I often travel over the CT River on I-95 (Old Lyme to Old Saybrook) and never realized the rich history of the river. The museum preserved the river’s history with many fishing tools, nautical artifacts, nautical equipment, etc. It also had the ‘Turtle’ which was the first American submarine built in Essex. I loved the wall mural in the staircase, an illustrated map of all the cities along the CT river. The green by the museum has beautiful views of the river! 

Essex Coffee and Tea Company

After a lot of walking around, we needed some coffee right? I popped in Essex Coffee and Tea Company for some drinks. They offer other drinks and pastries. I was able to enjoy some gluten free goodies! The coffee here also tastes amazing!  

Essex was easily added to my favorite CT towns list. I love the spirit of Essex, as you can see the pride of the town during the various seasons. If you go around Independence Day, the whole street will be decked out patriotically with flags everywhere, red/white/blue flowers and displays. The street has a red/white/blue line that is permanent. During fall, they have a main street scarecrow contest and all the pumpkins everywhere! December is always a favorite time when everything is decorated for the holidays. Recently, I fell in love with Daffodil Days during spring in Essex! There’s always something during every season so you never have to wait to go visit Essex! 

Mystic Deaf History

Did you know that Mystic, Connecticut has some deaf history?!

I never knew this until a few years of living here. I bumped into some older Deaf adults who all told me about their former deaf school… which happened to be right here in Mystic. It used to be The Whipple Home School which established in Ledyard, Connecticut then moved a few miles away, in order to expand to Mystic. 

Mystic Oral School.

First some history tidbits. In 1869, Whipple Home School was built in Ledyard, Connecticut (formerly known as Quakertown) by the grandson of Jonathan Whipple who successfully taught his deaf son, Enoch how to lip read and speak. Zerah Whipple, the grandson, wanted to continue the success of teaching oralism to other deaf students. The first student to come to the school was a 12 Y/O boy from a rich family in Delaware, a few years later he completed his education with great lipreading and speaking skills. Zerah began to receive more students and was getting crammed in the farmhouse so he bought Silas Burrows, a retired sea captain's mansion in Mystic on a hilltop overlooking the Mystic River.

The mansion that perched on 77+ acres was reformed into a residential school where deaf students lived while they attended school. The main focus was lipreading and speaking, no usage of sign language. They continued the oralism method. There was another deaf institute a hour away in Hartford, Connecticut which is known as American School for the Deaf today. It was known as the “sign school in Hartford” during the 1900’s. All students who attended the ‘signing school’ had a free education; however, there was an admission cost to attend Whipple’s school in Mystic.

Many families were impressed with the oralism method since it made the deaf people be more immersed in the hearing world. More families wanted their deaf kids to attend the school but Whipple did not have enough funds. In July 1872, Zerah Whipple got state aid to allow more students to attend. The Whipple Home School was given over to the state of Connecticut causing the name change to the Mystic Oral School (again later changed to Mystic Educational Center). Mystic Oral School faced chronic financial troubles and challenges with the oralism method (which declined over the years) but survived at least for 108 years.

Mystic Oral School shut down in 1980 after funds ran out. In that last year, the state tried to bring ‘mentally retarded’ (please read the disclaimer about this terminology) students to the school. The admission numbers of students attending Mystic Oral School had declined so they were looking to fill up space at the school. The Department of Mental Retardation had a waiting list of 170 students, the school had space for 55 students. Many parents of the deaf argued against this idea with their lawyers, stating that mixing deaf students with these students give credence to the stereotype of ‘deaf and dumb’. As a result, 5-4 opposed this idea. 

DISCLAIMER: While I do understand the use of terminology is not encouraged in the present day. It was the terminology used back in 1979 and was the actual name of the Department. 

A year later it was closed permanently. The town of Groton used the space for their Park & Recreation programs until 2011. The school had been abandoned since then. It has been in long need of renovation to preserve the historical site. 

In November 2019, Respler Homes LLC purchased the land. Their plans showed their vision of turning the oral school into a ‘mixed use village’ named Mystic River Bluffs. The village consisted of luxury apartments, restaurant, office spaces, coffee shop, market, etc. The project became controversial in the community. You might’ve seen the red lawn signs that stated ‘Restrict the MOS Development’ pop up around the area. The signs came from the group Mystic Oral School Advocates (MOSA). MOSA is a group of citizens to express concerns about the project. Their main concern is that the sizing of the project was too large that it needed to be scaled back or eliminated, they also focused on zoning changes that would not harm the neighborhood/rural nature. 

After 10 years of MOS being abandoned, the property unfortunately degraded overtime and was vandalized. In early 2021, I was filming a quick video in front of the school explaining the Deaf history of MOS when a re-development team leader from Respler Homes LLC was checking the property. We engaged in a conversation and we had a dialogue about the future of MOS. He offered to show me the inside of the school, I was thrilled to see some of the history! 

Walking around the interiors gave me a mixed feeling. I was so amazed by the history, seeing the old classrooms, main office/lobby, dorms, staff quarters, cafeteria and old performing stage. Yet on the other hand, I was saddened by the vandalism (graffiti, broken windows, wallpapers torn down). Some of it was from state testing from hazardous materials but mostly from vandalism. The property definitely had a long way to go! 

After a long year of going back and forth to move ahead with the project, it has stalled. The future for MOS is unknown at this time. I hope with the right people and with plans that works for the community life will be brought back into the beautiful historical site! 

Perched on a hilltop overlooking Mystic River (look closely thru the branches, that’s the water!)

The former infirmary. CORRECTION 1/27/21 this is the former house of the Superintendent.

The old gym/pool.

Inside tour: the former cafeteria.

The staircase.

Old classrooms (the walls had to be demolished so only the framing is left).

Another old classroom.

Old classroom. Did you notice the ceiling fan melted from the heat?!

Hallway between Pre-K section of the school and staff quarters.

One of the rooms in the staff quarters. The night shift staff lived in those rooms during the day.

Old performing stage.

Outside courtyard near the former cafeteria.

Exterior of the school.

Former entrance to the dorms.

Loved the ship weathervane!

Mystic has a ‘sign name’ representing the oral school history. If you look up the sign for “oral”, it will make sense. The letter Y was picked from Mystic to place on chin as shown in the photo below to be the sign name for Mystic. See more videos on Instagram here.

Showing the sign name for MYSTIC. It is close to the sign for “oral”.

Historical information was learned from several library books.

All opinions in this blog are my own.

Book Review: Signs of Survival

International Holocaust Remembrance Day occurs on January 27th every year to commemorate the Holocaust victims. January 27th was the day Auschwitz was liberated. 

I had many books related to Holocaust/WWII on my To-Read list. I thought I’d read some stories for this month in honor of the Holocaust Remembrance Day, along with a new released book. Just released on January 4th, Signs of Survival wrote by Renee Hartman with Joshua M. Greene is a memoir of the Holocaust. Renee is a survivor, with her deaf sister. The book focused on their experiences as Jews living during the war and the camp. 

Signs of Survival is a children’s book for age 8-12, so it had 128 pages. I read the entire book in one hour. It was an easy read and kept me me drawn to their stories. It is a very raw and powerful read. This book is a transcribed compilation of video interviews that Renee did for Yale’s Holocaust testimonies archive. The book does alternates between Renee and her deaf sister, Herta. 

There aren’t too many stories including deaf people during the Holocaust so that was why I picked up this book. I only wish that Renee and Herta could share more of their experiences as this short book was very impactful and powerful. I could feel the strong sisterly bond between them that preserved them through the hard times at the camp. 

I had no idea that Renee resided in New Haven, CT so this has a New England connection too. As I mentioned, she had shared this similar story in a video interview for Yale. I was able to find it via Google and watch it. I have appreciation for her sharing her story. It is tough. 

This book comes highly recommended, as I said there aren’t too many stories out there related to Holocaust with deafness or other disabilities. I am grateful that Renee and Herta shared their perspectives with us. Their stories will stay in my heart! 

A Local’s Love Letter to Pennywise in Mystic

As I looked back at my past Christmas memories, I had a realization. For the last 5 years, my Christmas outfits came from Pennywise in Mystic, CT. Pennywise is a high quality consignment store that had been around since 1988. Owned by mother and daughter, they sell women’s clothing, accessories and shoes as well men’s clothing. 

Pennywise shop.

When I moved to Connecticut a decade ago, I discovered their shop that was on Cottrell Street (now Mystic Knotwork). I shopped there several times then they closed that shop and moved everything over to the Greenmanville shop across from Mystic Seaport. I shopped there even more when I hit the Lilly Pulitzer phase for a few years. 

Shopping for Kentucky Derby dress in 2016.

Pennywise sells many great quality and popular brands. They are selective about the brands, as not all will be accepted to be sold in the store. A few of brands I frequent are JCrew, Vineyard Vines, LOFT and Levi’s. Other brands I’ve seen: Madewell, Anthropologie, Banana Republic, Ralph Lauren, Gap and many more. Sometimes the clothing are still brand new with the original tags attached. 

The shop is very well organized. It can be overwhelming but it’s easy enough to navigate through. It’s a two story building with mostly women’s clothing and accessories on the first floor. More women’s clothing and men’s clothing are upstairs. Every time I pop in to shop, I check their color sticker sale of the day. For example: red tags are 25% off - if you find a clothing item with a red sticker tag then it is 25% off. They always have two colors each day that are discounted. 

Loved this red Vineyard Vines sweater!

The prices are reasonable for the designer brands and very affordable for other brands! They really do a great job selecting which clothes they consign - you won’t find any with stains, holes, or weird smell! I’ve always been apprehensive about shopping in thrift stores - secondhand never appealed to me. Pennywise has changed my stance on that but it is the only consignment store I will shop at! 

The customer service is always top notch. As I mentioned, it is owned by mother and daughter team. At least one of them is always there each time I popped in. They have always been helpful in locating items I am looking for or for finding things I would want. One time I passed by the shop and spotted a cute coat on the mannequin outside of the shop. I did a U-turn and popped in to ask what size/price it was. I felt bad about making her do all the work taking it off, I was really hoping it was my size… luckily it was! Even better that it was a great price! Hooray! 

The coat I literally bought off the mannequin! (the brown sweater is also from Pennywise).

A few years after shopping there, I decided to consign my clothes. The system is very effective and easy. I brought in my clothes and they will take 5-10 minutes to sort through and take what will sell in the shop. The clothes will stay on the floor for 6-8 weeks and the unsold will be donated to a charity. A win-win to make a little money and have it donated to appropriate places! The shop keeps 50% of the profits, the consigners will get the other 50%. It’s the best percentage I’ve seen compared to other consignment stores. Also, if you made money - you can request a check on the spot. Otherwise it will stay in the system as store credit which you can use if you buy things. 

Time definitely had flew by, it’s hard to believe that I have been shopping at this shop for 10 years now. Does anyone remember Steve the cat? I miss my buddy! He was the shop cat who lived there and would rub up against my leg while I was shopping or he would be napping on the counter. He lived a long life and passed away a few years ago. It’s not the same to pop in there without Steve’s greeting. 

Be sure to visit this shop, they have a wide variety of brands and prices for everyone! You will guarantee find something to buy! I love that I unexpectedly made it a Christmas tradition to buy my outfit from there each year. It’s something I’ll have to continue! 

Pennywise is located at 22 Greenmanville Ave, across from Mystic Seaport and half mile away from downtown Mystic. If you aren’t local… don’t fret. They started selling online and offer free shipping over $100+. Website can be found here. Happy shopping! 

JCrew button up shirt.

LOFT sweater.

Talbots sweater.

JCrew cashmere brown top.

Interpreters

The topic of interpreters… I’ve put this off for a while, after receiving some questions. So here I am, addressing some questions!

First of all, interpreters can be quite the discussion! We could talk all day long so I’ll keep it short for this blog. I have a strong appreciation for them as they help to facilitate communication between both worlds. Without them, it wouldn’t be possible for me to get the information or get my words across. They work hard interpreting for hours at times, with the constant signing (I can’t even write for hours without my hands cramping!). Interpreters also don’t come without some challenges. As the costs of hiring them can be daunting for some businesses/offices resulting in hiring non certified interpreters.

How do I know if my interpreter is certified? Most of time I can look up the registry database online. When I have medical appointments, I do not know who they call so it was common for me to go to my appointments not knowing if I will have a certified interpreter. I am stuck with whatever interpreter that is there that day. I often ask which agency they worked for to keep in mind if I want to request the same individual again.

Why is a certified interpreter important? It’s highly preferred as they completed a program and passed exams. No difference from you preferring a certified contractor to fix your broken porch over a self-taught contractor. This is an issue because most places will not hire a certified interpreter due to higher costs. If you’re certified, the more pay, right? As a result sometimes we end up with a lower caliber interpreter.

Have you seen two interpreters at the same time at an event, or sometimes there’s only one… and wondered why is that? The more interpreters you have, the better quality of information being interpreted. After 20 minutes, the quality of signing usually decreases. So if there’s a second person, that will allow them the rest they need. It is common for them to switch every 20 minutes to keep more accurate translation. I also like it when the resting interpreter sits, still pays attention to what is being said and adds whatever the interpreter forgot to translate. They definitely help to keep each other in check!

People don’t always realize that even with the interpreters translating for me, it’s not always my voice. Wait… what? Imagine this… you know the telephone/grapevine game? Where you have a group of 6 people… you tell one person at a time a sentence then it jumbles somewhere through the game and the last person says something completely different? Sometimes that’s what happens with interpreting. This leads to another question I’ve got… do I trust them? Sometimes. As much as I appreciate them being that bridge between both worlds, it is hard to put all of me in. I constantly am lip reading them to make sure they are repeating what I say.

With that, has there been any embarrassing moments? Yes, several. The most recent memory I have is at a doctor’s appointment after having a sore throat for a week. I was sharing my sore throat remedies I had been doing at home. I said that I’m constantly eating cough drops. The interpreter translated “I’m constantly eating ice cream”. The doctor smiled at me and I saw my family member speak up. We laugh about it now, but imagine if that person hadn’t been there!

I’ve shared that I’m not thrilled with the skill of interpreters in my area as I live in an area of few deaf people. The majority of interpreters are in metropolis cities an hour away. I’ve had my family member interpreting for me at all of my medical appointments for the last few years now. I know it’s not technically the right thing but I just had enough of the bad experiences. It’s hard because I know my decision of not requesting interpreters is not helping to educate the doctors and medical offices that they are supposed to provide me one. It’s also not fair that my family member is doing it for free too.

I don’t always love having my ‘words’ translated by someone else, but it’s the only way I can be a contributing member of the community. Well, the other option would be everyone knowing sign language… but not realistic! I also don’t like that people aren’t really getting to know me. They’re hearing my words through someone else’s voice. I even got that comment when I started this blog, how some were realizing and learning about MY VOICE. Imagine having your mom, spouse, brother or a stranger say everything you want. It doesn’t always match.

I’ve had interpreters since I was in elementary school. I was in a special education classroom with a teacher that signed but I still had an interpreter that came with me to my mainstreamed classes in the afternoons. When I transferred schools, I had one same interpreter with me all day long. She worked so hard to convey information and share my words. There was a misconception that she was my mom! Many classmates thought that. I noticed that it is a common misconception with permanent interpreters.

When I moved to Rochester, NY … home of one of the largest deaf communities, there were a boatload of interpreters compared to my rural hometown. Interpreters were not as much of an issue but it doesn’t mean that I still ran across some ‘bad’ ones but it was rare. I miss the quality of interpreters in Rochester all the time! I constantly had different interpreters for every class in college, always had two for each class. I saw the difference in having a team vs being solo. It made me appreciate my high school interpreter even more for her hard work!

The topic of interpreters could be discussed more in depth, both positivity and negatively. Despite the bad/challenges, they are a huge help! I get excited when I see an interpreter on TV for press briefings, at a concert, or anywhere really! I appreciate their effort in helping my community to be inclusive.

Deaf Movies/TV series

It’s binge watching season! With the colder weather here, we’re starting to stay indoors more. Ever since the blog I wrote about the movie ‘CODA’ last summer, many have asked if there were more Deaf movies/TV shows. I’m finally here to give you the scoop!

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Deaf movies to watch:

Children of a Lesser God (1986)

This is probably the most well known deaf movie. Marlee Matlin, a deaf actress, won the Academy Award for her role. It is about a new speech teacher who fell in love with a deaf janitor while working at a deaf institute. He pursues her to use her voice/learn speech as she wasn’t verbal. This is a good movie, but really focuses on speech/oral aspect of deafness. It’s also ‘based’ in New England (but actually was filmed in Canada)!

Sound of Metal (2019)

A powerful movie! It follows the journey of a rock band drummer who lost his hearing. It showed how he was in a hurry to find a quick ‘fix’ or cure. While he was re-adjusting to his life without hearing, he was immersed in a small deaf community in which he learned about the deaf culture. I thought this movie was perfect for people who are stuck in both worlds! I also loved how the deafness was portrayed as a culture, not a physical disability in the movie.

Audible (2021) Netflix

This short 40 minutes documentary focuses on a deaf football player at Maryland School for the Deaf. It shows clips of his life as an athlete, a friend who lost someone to suicide and being a teenager. It also interviewed some other deaf people. The documentary captured a lot of moments showing what it feel like to be immersed in the deaf world. 

…and Your Name is Jonah (1979)

The deaf boy had been misdiagnosed so he was institutionalized with intellectually disabled. It shows the journey of the deaf boy adjusting to living with his family. This movie is a great example of language deprivation.

The Hammer (2010)

A biography/drama/sports movie about Matt Hamill, the first deaf wrestler to win a NCAA. It followed his youth years in Ohio, discovering wrestling then his success during college. I was particularly excited when this was released back in 2011 because he is a RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology) alumni. Go Tigers! I really enjoyed this movie, which had many deaf actors/actresses! The movie also was filmed through out Rochester, NY. It is one of my favorite deaf movies.

A Quiet Place (2018)

A horror/sci-fic movie about a family living in silence to hide from monsters with ultra-sensitive hearing. One of the family member is a deaf girl so the entire family uses sign language to communicate. Horror/Sci-Fic is NOT my genre at all, but I had to watch this movie. I felt like it was more suspenseful thriller but enjoyed it a lot! The girl is played by a deaf actress, Millicent Simmonds. Also, A Quiet Place II was released this year, but I haven’t seen it yet!  

Sound and Fury (2000)

A wonderful documentary showing the controversial of cochlear implants. It shows the conflict of deaf identity and struggling to belong. Definitely worthwhile to watch!

Sweet Nothing in my Ear (2008)

Another movie about cochlear implants. It is a family drama about a hearing man and his deaf wife (played by Marlee Matlin) who are conflicted on whether their deaf son should get the cochlear implants. This showed all sides/opinions. 

Born to be Wild (1995)

This may not be classified as a ‘deaf movie’ but sign language is included. It’s a kid-friendly movie of a gorilla learning sign language to communicate. The gorilla develops a relationship with a rebel teenager and they communicate using ASL. It is a cute and heartwarming movie!

Listen to Your Heart (2010)

One of my favorites! Ironically it is music-based movie which I try to avoid. A singer fell in love with a deaf girl, but the love inspires him to write music. It is a romantic drama movie, but it shows that nothing is impossible! 

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If you want to binge on TV series. There are some recommendations: 

Deaf U (2020) Netflix

A reality series following several deaf students at Gallaudet University in Washington DC. I felt like I was watching ‘Real World’ on MTV but with deaf college students! I do have to warn, this series is unfiltered. 

Switched at Birth (2011-2017)

A drama series starting out with a hearing girl who found out that she was accidentally switched when she was a baby. She meets the other baby that she was switched with, which was a deaf girl. They both immersed into each other’s lives. A lot of deaf culture and aspects are portrayed in the show. A fun and worthwhile series to binge!  

Deaf Out Loud (2018)

Only 1 season, this documentary follows around three deaf families. I am so, so, so sad that more seasons were not signed for this show. I loved it! It showed a variety of deaf identities, how all deaf people aren’t the same and different opinions. If you want a glimpse of true deaf world, this is the show to watch. Also, one of the deaf families is based in Connecticut! 

Sue Thomas FB Eye (2002-2005)

A police-drama TV series following a deaf FBI agent who works in fingerprinting. Another agent noticed her lip reading skills promoting her to an elite surveillance team. This is inspired by Sue Thomas, a deaf woman who works for FBI so this show is loosely based on her life. 

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There are many more that I haven’t seen yet. I have a long list of movies to watch! Hope you enjoy some of those and let me know what you think! 

Alexander Graham Bell and the Deaf community

Book Review of The Invention of Miracles: Language, power and Alexander Graham Bell’s Quest to end Deafness by Katie Booth. This book had made a great impact on me enough that it earned its own post. Here are my thoughts:

This book was such a powerful read about a controversial person in the deaf community, Alexander Graham Bell. I didn’t know about the release of this book back in April 2021, but had spotted it in the bookstore. Only because the cover had “The Quest to end Deafness” on it grabbing my interest. I knew of Bell, learned that his name was an adversary in the deaf community while I was at college. Many of you only know him as the inventor of telephone but he also had worked as a teacher for the deaf.

I picked up the book and read the prologue. Right away, I was drawn into it with the author growing up with deaf grandparents whose lives had been impacted by Bell’s oralism. The local library finally had this book available so I read it and boy, was I glued to EVERY page! I had figured that I’d be skimming through some parts since it had explained Bell’s invention of the telephone. I’m not the one for science, but the author did an amazing job of explaining.

The book was very complicated. Like I mentioned, I only knew that Bell wasn’t liked in the deaf community but never really knew the depth of where it stemmed from. I knew he pushed for oralism. The book is 400+ pages long, divided into 3 parts. The first two was about Bell’s romance with his (deaf!) wife, his invention and brief stories about his work with the deaf. The last part focused greatly on the deaf.

At first, I respected his hard work for inventing the telephone. He was a smart man. Later on, when I read about his time with educating the deaf on how to speak… my mind frame of Bell shifted quickly. He advocated greatly for the oralism method, wanting sign language and deafness to be eliminated. It was his goal to teach the deaf people to forget that they are deaf.

There were several excerpts from the book that parallel so much to today’s world. I didn’t realize that even in the 1880’s that deaf people were being asked “did you ever try to learn to hear by the motions of the lips?” Which is equivalent to “can you lipread?”. I’m still asked that TODAY in 2021! The implication of Bell’s oralism probably gave hearing people that exception that deaf people are able to lipread.

As I was reading this book, there were several descriptions of speech lessons…bringing up memories of my own speech lessons during my childhood. I have NEVER enjoyed speech. I disliked it so much. Just like the students in the book struggling to make specific sounds, I had some difficulty with specific letters such as “k”, “c”, “p”, etc. I remember being frustrated but had to internalize that anger until I was home. I didn’t like how speech lessons also took my time away from the classroom. I felt like I was missing out on what was going on with my classmates. This was an argument used by the pro-ASL advocates against Bell’s oralism, that teaching the deaf oralism took their time away from their general studies.

I was interested to see so many similarities or connection with Mystic Oral School (MOS). If you recall, I wrote a blog about the school here. It was Bell’s oralism method that was taught at MOS. During Bell’s era, they struggled with many oral deaf students signing in secret which were many stories I heard from MOS alumni. How they would secretly sign with their friends in the dorms or at home. It seemed to be a reoccurrence for sign language to be snuck in among the oral deaf students. The book mentioned Bell advocating against ‘signing schools’ to receive public funds. I remember reading court papers from when Bell came to Hartford, CT to support MOS getting funds they needed.

Bell is a very complicated person. He was smart but unwilling to listen to the deaf voices. He knew that he wasn’t liked by many. It continued to be his goal to eliminate deafness/sign language. It was implied that Bell had a little soft side towards his deaf students, as it mentioned in the book that he helped them in finding jobs, paid for their education and bought them clothes. Yet, he still believed that ASL shouldn’t be taught. I also mentioned earlier that Bell even had a deaf wife. He also had a deaf mother, who he used sign language with at home during his childhood. His wife had been one of his former students who he taught oralism to, so his wife knew how to lip read him/spoke well. She became the example of his oralism success. Bell’s wife also had a strong dislike towards teachers of the deaf because they often looked at their students as ‘cases’ which is exactly what Bell did, especially with Helen Keller!

One part of the book that made me angry was Bell’s involvement with eugenics committee on passing sterilization laws. Indiana had been the first state to pass the law in 1907. This law inspired Nazi Germany to adopt and establish their version, resulting in 40% of German deaf being sterilized. I had no idea the connection. Many don’t realize that Holocaust targeted deaf (and disabled) among the Jews. The sterilization program they adopted from the United States eventually turned into ‘T4 program’ which was a euthanasia program. This had upset me so much that I had to put the book down briefly because I was recalling a video I watched last year of a German deaf woman who had been sterilized. She shared her sadness of never being able to conceive.

This book was excellent written, very well researched and put together perfectly. The author had really dug in the archives. It was a book full of history but so powerful that it will spark dialogues about one’s personal experience as a deaf person in today’s world. It brought out so many emotions for me. I thought about my childhood that had been shaped by Bell’s oralism. I learned how to speak/lipread first until learning sign language 3 years later when I moved to a new school that combined use of speech/ASL. I felt like I spent the majority of my childhood being embarrassed of my own deafness. There were a few incidents when I’d tell my family to stop signing in public when people were staring. I always apologized for being deaf when hearing people tried to talk to me unaware of my deafness.

How people perceived the deaf people was definitely influenced by Bell. Oralism still exists today, not as popular as it was during Bell’s era. We still face discrimination especially with jobs and accessibility challenges. Many hearing parents still aren’t receiving the resources when they give birth to a deaf child resulting in language depravation. The majority of doctors today are in favor of cochlear implants. The issue is that it’s implied that it’s a cure, instead of an assistance tool.

I thought so much after reading this book. How my life would have been different if Bell had listened to the needs of the deaf people. If he had worked with them, how much more successful would we have been today? Would we still be facing discrimination? People’s opinions of us might’ve been different? After all, Bell was a smart man and could’ve achieved a lot if he had collaborated with the deaf community. In the end, he only ended up causing great harm on the deaf community. I’m so grateful that the deaf people during Bell’s era had persevered and allowed us the freedom to use sign language today!

Don’t wait on picking up this book like I did, it’s so worth the read!

Debunking the Myth About Deaf Drivers

“Do you drive?”

“Can Deaf people drive?”

“We can drive, but Deaf people can’t.”

Those are the questions or statements I’ve heard since childhood. I recall being in ASL class in middle school. The teacher asked the class to name one thing that they can do that deaf people can’t do. A girl said “we can drive”. I reacted to that with surprise that some people thought that way.

“What about the emergency vehicles/sirens?”

“How can you hear the car horns?”

Usually the follow up questions would be about sounds that most hearing people hear while driving. Yes, I can’t hear them, but I can see the emergency vehicles. I can’t hear car horns. I do have the added expectations to look around more.

It helps that Deaf people are known to have expansive peripheral vision. At the driver’s license testing, the evaluator even made a comment that he especially likes the Deaf drivers because they pay attention more.

There is no proof that Deaf people cause more accidents due to their hearing, or hearing loss making them less safe drivers. We are allowed to receive a regular driver’s license but any type of other licenses may be more challenging. It was only recent that Deaf drivers can be truck drivers (2013).

It was frustrating at one of my old jobs when I was a direct support professional. I was responsible to help my client learn how to be a member of the community i.e. having a job, participate in events, etc. All direct support professionals at the agency were required to get a special driver’s license to be able to transport clients. I went through the whole process of being fingerprinted, blood tested and paid fees to find out that I couldn’t get it because of restrictions about my hearing loss. Oh! I forgot to mention that getting that license also meant a pay bump. Luckily, the agency was understanding that I tried and they honored the pay bump for me anyways. It still wasn’t fun for the entire employment to feel like I couldn’t be relied on for driving. We had a team 2:1 so the other did all of the driving. I felt a lot of guilt for not being more helpful.

Emergency vehicles nowadays don’t seem to use sirens anymore. I can spot the flashing lights coming from behind me or ahead of me a mile away! There was only one moment that worked against my Deafness when I drove to my job in downtown Rochester, NY. I came to an intersection that was blocked by tall buildings and once the light turned green, I started going when a police cruiser was speeding towards me. I slammed on the brakes hard, and let the cruiser continue even though he had to slow a bit.

Being a Deaf driver can still be a challenge, but thankfully my expansive peripheral vision helps tremendously. I know that I always have to be alert. I still work hard to this day to not have any distractions. I often do double-checking at intersections/stop signs. To this day, I’ve never received a ticket (*knock on wood*). It’s a common misconception that people think Deaf people can’t drive legally but they can!

A Fall Weekend I’ll Never Forget in Jim Thorpe, PA

I took a camping trip up to rural Pennsylvania to a small town called Jim Thorpe, tucked in the Lehigh Gorge Valley. I grew up on the border of New York and Pennyslvania so I was missing those mountains during the change of the foliage!

Jim Thorpe also made many of “best” or “must see” lists from Town & Country, Expedia, Country Living, USA Today, National Geographic, etc. I was intrigued by the description that Jim Thorpe was a Victorian style town/European village. It’s even been nicknamed as “Switzerland of America”.

Jim Thorpe Main Street.

Driving into Jim Thorpe, you immediately see the beauty of the buildings! Many historical buildings were colorful and had a lot of detailing. The downtown was very walkable with many shops, restaurants and businesses to check out. Many of the historical buildings had been converted such as an old fire station that was turned into a bar, an Irish pub went into an old hotel, and so on. Jim Thorpe is also full of history which you can see bits everywhere in the buildings, the names of businesses, the museums and more. I noticed the name Mauch Chunk everywhere in downtown which I had found out at the library was the old town name. Jim Thorpe was a Native American athlete so they renamed the town in his memory in 1953.

Many beautiful buildings on the Main Street in Jim Thorpe like this one!

Saw many trolleys giving people tours around Jim Thorpe!

A hotel in downtown Jim Thorpe, very New Orleans style.

The town of Jim Thorpe focused mainly on the railroad and also mining. There was a museum with history of mining in Jim Thorpe. One of the biggest attraction is the Lehigh Gorge Scenic Railroad. While I was visiting, I saw steam locomotive trains circa 1900’s offering train rides. The train was even dog friendly!! Unfortunately my dog doesn’t like loud noises (horn/clacking of wheels) so it wouldn’t have been a fun ride for us. I was really bummed! I only can imagine how gorgeous it would’ve been with the foliage.

The trains.

I loved the uniforms of train employees!

Gazebo near the train station gave me Star Hollows vibes, am I right?! (Gilmore Girls)

The view of the train station from the gazebo.

I was drawn to all of Victorian homes around Jim Thorpe. Two well known landmarks were the Asa Packer Mansion and Harry Packer Mansion. Both mansions had the Italianate style. Asa Packer was the founder of the Lehigh Valley Railroad. And guess what?! Packer is connected to Mystic! How?? He was born here in Mystic, Connecticut in 1805. He moved away at the age of 17 to work, which he ended up in Mauch Chunk, Pennsylvania. Harry Packer Mansion was perched next to Asa Packer Mansion overlooking the town of Jim Thorpe. Harry Packer, the son of Asa was gifted the home as a wedding gift. The Harry Packer Mansion also inspired Disney to model for the movie ‘Haunted Mansion’. The Asa Packer Mansion is opened for tours and Harry Packer Mansion is a bed and breakfast but offers weekend tours (Murder Mystery events). I was obsessed with the beauty of the porch at Asa Packer Mansion, and the views of the railroad, mountains and downtown Jim Thorpe were amazing!

Harry Packer Mansion with Asa Packer Mansion in the background.

The stunning view of Jim Thorpe from Asa Packer Mansion.

And this gorgeous porch!

There were plenty of shops, restaurants and businesses in downtown! Some of the favorites were:

Nature’s Trail - the best collection of Jim Thorpe ornaments! 

Nature’s Trail shop.

Sellers Books - I’m a sucker for any bookshops! This was a cute small bookshop but great selection of the newest (and old) books.

My pup isn’t thrilled that mammy found another bookshop to explore!

Curiosities Coffee and Ice House - the interiors! I loved the gothic touches and purple wallpaper. I grabbed some delicious blueberry lemonade. 

That wallpaper! I need it.

Dimmick Memorial Library - I almost passed up on going inside the library. Boy, am I glad that I stepped into Dimmick. This Victorian library interiors blew me out of the water! I could spend all day in every nook and on the balcony! 

The library.

Loved how they incorporated the books in Halloween decor!

The view from the balcony.

Jingle Bells Christmas Shoppe - a shoppe with everything Christmas. It was fun poking around this shop. I loved how they incorporated Christmas in their exterior fall decor! 

Muggles’ Mug - calling all Harry Potter fans, this is a must see. The best part? It’s dog friendly! My pup got a puppuccino (pumpkin, whipped cream and milk bones!). I enjoyed a delicious pumpkin pie latte. 

Patiently waiting outside of Muggles’ Mug.

The puppuccino.

The Molly Maguire's Pub & Steakhouse - I enjoyed lunch outside since I had the pup. Good food and friendly service! The owners are even from Dublin, Ireland!

Molly Maguire’s Irish Pub.

There were many more that I wanted to see but were closed. If you plan a day in Jim Thorpe, check with the hours of places you want to see. Many of them had unusual hours. As I mentioned earlier, there was a converted firehouse into a bar… Marion Hose Bar that I hoped to visit. They had a huge outdoor patio offering bar bites and drinks. Also in downtown, there was a vintage bookshop and an Irish goods shop that were closed when I visited. I still enjoyed strolling around downtown for the day. 

Marion Hose Bar - the converted firehouse.

Jim Thorpe would be a wonderful weekend getaway if you’re ever in Poconos Region/Eastern Pennsylvania. It was under 6 hours from Mystic, Connecticut.

The oldest and unchanged house from earliest history of Jim Thorpe (then Mauch Chunk).

Old Jail Museum.

Molly Maguire also was executed in Jim Thorpe.

Those doors!

Enjoyed the Halloween decor on some homes like this one.

Historic Race Street - more shops and businesses on this street which was right off the Main Street (Broadway).

Representation Matters: Why Deaf Role Models Are Essential

Who was your role model? Were they deaf too?

Growing up in a rural area of Upstate New York didn’t give me the opportunity to meet Deaf adults to look up to. So who did I look up to? I knew of Marlee Matlin, the famous deaf actress and Heather Whitestone, first deaf Miss America. So that’s who I looked up to as a child. Both are two Deaf women on polar opposite of the spectrum. 

Marlee Matlin is a well known Deaf actress and activist today. Her performance in the movie ‘Children of a Lesser God’ in 1986 earned her an Academy Award and Golden Globe award. She had acted in several movies and TV shows since then, which included ‘Switched at Birth’ and the recent released ‘CODA’ movie. Matlin released a book ‘Deaf Child Crossing’ during my pre-teen years, early 2000s. I was in awe of her ability as a Deaf person being in Hollywood. I wished that there were MORE famous Deaf people.

Credit: Marlee Matlin’s instagram.

Heather Whitestone was the first Deaf woman to win Miss America in 1995. I was too young to understand at the time about Miss America and beauty pageants. I had learned about her afterwards. During my pre-teen years, she was doing a lot of work with Starkey Hearing Aid Foundation as their spokesperson. I wrote to her (the snail mail way!) about my deafness and how impressed I was with her accomplishments with Miss America.

Credit: Heather Whitestone McCallum’s instagram.

Marlee and Heather lost their hearing at 18 months due to illness. They identified themselves as Deaf but were on the opposite side of the spectrum. What does that mean exactly? In the present day, Marlee Matlin is a strong advocate of using American Sign Language (ASL). Although I do need to point out that she has the ability to speak and previously (maybe still currently?) wore hearing aids during my childhood years. Heather Silverstone grew up orally/verbal. She didn’t use sign language until her senior year in high school. Heather was more mainstreamed in the hearing world, even getting her cochlear implants in her adulthood. 

During my childhood, we didn’t have Internet where I could’ve had an easy access to many other Deaf role models that were out there. My mom clipped newspaper articles during my childhood to show me anything about Deaf people. I started seeing more and more of Deaf examples in my late teens years/college years. The media started having more exposure of the Deaf community. The TV show ‘Switched at Birth’ really opened many eyes about the Deaf culture. 

In my small town in Upstate New York, there were a few Deaf adults but I didn’t have many interactions with them. I did attend some meetings when I was in my high school years. I didn’t find a connection with them back then. There weren’t many others that I could relate to, so it was difficult to find role models, famous or regular folks, to really look up to. I might’ve had Marlee and Heather to look up to, but I didn’t want the same exact goals as them. I did learn that their Deafness didn’t stop them from achieving their goals so that is what was inspiring to me as a kid. 

While I was at college in Rochester, Marlee Matlin released a book ‘I’ll Scream Later’ in 2009. As part of the book release, she toured several cities which included a stop in Rochester. It was surreal to meet her at my college in person after idolizing her my entire childhood. I was so starstruck that when it was my turn for her to sign my book, I froze. I didn’t know what to say! I didn’t say a word! She smiled warmly and thanked me for coming. Oh, how I wish I could go back now and say everything. How she inspired me to achieve the impossible. Don’t let my deafness stop me from my passions. How she gave me that hope that Deaf can do it. Maybe someday again I will get that chance!

When I met Marlee Matlin at RIT, 2008.

Now, it’s different with social media and technology gaining more accessibility to Deaf kids today. They know about Deaf role models out there who are singers, artists, business owners, performers, etc. The kids have their pick now on who to look up to. I’m glad that there are more successful Deaf people out there to be that role model for a Deaf kid to look up to!

CODA movie - Dad's verison

****SPOILER ALERT: If you intend on watching this movie you may want to wait to read this!****

Read my personal thoughts about the CODA movie here.

I remember shedding tears watching the end of Brian’s Song, Terms of Endearment and even Bambi.  I experienced strong emotions throughout CODA! I don’t usually stay for the credits but needed to! This was quite different for me! I realize this movie touched others as well!

As Kelly explained this movie is about a hearing girl with deaf parents and brother. She is challenged to balance her life deciding what she wants and assisting her family. There were so many scenes that I could also relate to as a parent of a deaf daughter.

In the beginning of the movie the parents showed up at the school playing music very loud. This way they can feel the vibrations. This obviously caught the attention of the hearing kids who laughed and ridiculed them. The daughter defended them with no success. Deafness is not visible! We can relate…. as a teenager Kelly was returning a grocery cart to the corral for her mother. A man yelled to Kelly from behind that he would use the cart. Kelly not hearing did not react and put it away. He then threw up his arms in haste & with a very angry face mumbled something. Diane seeing this, informed him that she is deaf! Not so calmly!

At one point the daughter in the movie expressed herself as “I am exhausted”! This was used in context of being torn between helping her family and developing her life. Her family’s demands were so great (doctor appt, court and negotiating for their business) she had missed  her commitments. Kelly has expressed frustration with her family members who sign in group situations. Especially around the holidays! She misses so many conversations and it is difficult for the interpreter to determine what conversation to interpret.

Kelly mentioned in her review that during the school recital the director turned off the sound. The film scanned back and forth with all the happenings but the silence was overwhelming! The deaf parents’ heads were moving back and forth to try to understand what was going on around them! This put all viewers in the place of the deaf characters. Wow! This was a great approach to give you the feeling of their daily life.

The family returned home after the recital. The father and daughter were outside. He was asking questions about the song she performed. He asked her to sing it to him. She obliged and he put his hand on her throat! She seemed surprised but realized he wanted to feel her voice! Kelly started at a school when she was a year old. They worked with Diane and Kelly on her speech. Mirroring mouth movement for repetitive sounds. I remember putting Kelly’s tiny hand on my throat and repeating sounds. I remember her face. Kelly always showed amazing facial expressions as a toddler!

Toward the end of the movie the daughter was auditioning for admission to a prestigious music school. Her family was not allowed in her performance but found their way to the balcony. They entered quietly not to tip off they were there. She started her performance of “Both Sides Now” by Joni Michell  and she saw them. She started to sign the song about 1/3 of the way directly to her family! This confused the staff evaluating her until they realized her family was there.  The irony of the song was well represented to the struggles she had. She fell back into her role as interpreter where she should be individually focused. You could see the love she had for her family!

“Rows and flows of angel hair

And ice cream castles in the air

And feather canyons everywhere

Looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun

They rain and they snow on everyone

So many things I would have done

But clouds got in my way”

Looking at things from Both Sides Now is a constant effort! Understanding one’s perception may not be what you actually see. This movie really made me think! I hope more opportunities come for these people to express their views of the world!

Please watch this movie! I am sorry to give details before seeing it but I wanted to reference these moment to my personal experience. 

My thoughts about CODA movie as a Deaf person

In mid-August, there was a new movie making a splash. Apple+ released ‘CODA’ starring Marlee Matlin.  The term CODA stands for Child of Deaf Adult[s] so it was a movie portraying a life of a CODA. The movie was selected to be shown in limited theaters. I was thrilled that Mystic Luxury Cinemas was one of the theaters to feature the movie. I haven’t gone to the movie theaters in 6 years! When I lived in Rochester, NY — the movie theaters had a limited schedule of when movies would play with open captions (subtitles that appears on the screen). In 2013, the movie theaters moved to offering closed-captioning glasses. It is an accessibility tool, 3-D glasses that have captioning. It appears when you wear the glasses while watching the movie. 

It should’ve been a win, right? Except the captioning glasses are a nuisance. The 3-D glasses have two large boxes on the side which are bulky and heavy! Each time I went to the movies, I found myself leaving with a headache and sore neck. The glasses were so heavy that it always left an imprint on my nose bridge and on the sides of my face. While wearing the glasses, I had to stay still and laser focus on the movie screen to see the captions. If I looked over to a person’s face, the captions would be on their face. Sometimes the color of the movie screen washed out the captions (they’re yellow) so I would have to tilt my head down to the dark area under the screen. It was difficult to go back and forth from reading the captions under the screen to looking at the screen. Going to the movies wasn’t relaxing any more.  

Posing with the movie poster while signing “I Love You”

‘CODA’ made a move to have burnt in captions on all movies. No matter what, no matter where, everyone could go to the movie theaters and be included with everyone. I was thrilled that I finally had the chance to go to the movies and be comfortable! Especially Mystic Luxury Cinemas, a theater I’ve never been to, had luxury reclining chairs. It was so comfy! I enjoyed it so much that I went back a second time myself one rainy day. 

Before the release of ‘CODA’, I had some hesitance about how good the movie would be. How many Deaf movies do you know out there? Really only one well known movie… ‘Children of a Lesser God’ filmed in 1986, because Marlee Matlin won an Academy Award for her role. Since then, not many movies were made focusing on Deaf characters. Instead, many of them were in the background or played a role with less talking. I was nervous about this movie, if it would have actual representation of the Deaf community. Hollywood also was known to not cast Deaf actors for Deaf roles, which is still being fought for to this day. I had learned that when the director of ‘CODA’ shared the idea of the movie, she was turned down at first because she wanted Deaf actors. She fought to cast Deaf people and ended up getting her way! The Deaf actors casted in ‘CODA' were Marlee Matlin (Deaf mom/Jackie), Troy Kotsur (Deaf dad/Frank), and Daniel Durant (Deaf brother/Leo).

Now, my movie review for ‘CODA’ gets 5 out of 5 stars! It was amazing. I just loved it. I mean, you can’t beat the New England setting which was filmed in Gloucester, Massachusetts. And the fact that the movie focused on a Deaf family. The main character was a CODA girl attending high school, pursuing her music goals while working in the fishing business with her Deaf family. I thought it was a good representation of the Deaf community. Just a reminder, there are so many sub-categories within the Deaf community so obviously the movie couldn’t fit in each and every one of them. The movie showed the reality of the Deaf family’s life, even beyond the deafness. It normalized the Deaf family as a small business owner and in other activities such as going to the bar and drinking, Tinder scrolling, sibling banters, sexual activities and more. It focused on the relationship of the CODA with her Deaf family and the hearing world. 

I loved how there were a few scenes throughout the movie that I could relate to; the interpreter issues for one. CODA’s are often interpreting for their parents because many hearing people see them as available and free. The hearing people take advantage of that, so it has caused many CODA’s to have to grow up faster because they shouldered that responsibility of providing accessibility for their parents. Ruby, the main character, was interpreting at meetings, negotiating fish prices, in court and doctor appointments for her parents. The movie didn’t speak about the accessibility issues with finding an interpreter, but it portrayed the Deaf parents as people relying on a family member. I knew that I relied on my hearing family (and even friends!) while growing up. I’ve always felt like a burden to others. The issue is that I wasn’t given that chance to be independent and speak for myself just like the Deaf parents/brother weren’t in the movie.  

Jackie, the Deaf mom expressed her thoughts with Ruby towards the end of the movie about her reaction to Ruby being hearing. I am not a mother yet, but hopefully someday. I have fears of being a parent of a CODA. I know how to do things as a Deaf person, so how do I do some things with a hearing kid? Jackie described the fear as feeling a disconnection. Would my child prefer to use sign language to speak with me? Would my child find me annoying later on in life because of my deafness? I grew up feeling like a burden on my family and worried that my brother resented me. I don’t want that with my kids.  

Another thing that struck a chord with me throughout the movie was Leo constantly trying to prove himself. I didn’t realize how much I grew up focusing on proving everyone wrong. There were so many stereotypes of Deaf people that I didn’t want to be victim of. I worked so hard in school to get far in life. Watching Leo wanting that independence and everyone else to respect him just hit me in the feels. I wanted that respect from everyone too. I want them to think I have the ability to do anything! While growing up, everyone focused on everyone around me, instead of looking at me as an individual. If someone wanted to say something to me, they would look to them to interpret for me instead of writing it down. In restaurants, it was them that servers would look to. I felt like I always had to prove myself, even to this day, I find myself still doing that. 

I enjoyed how the movie tried to show some aspects of being Deaf. The one scene that also struck a chord with me, was the concert. The Deaf family went to the concert for Ruby to support her. Ruby and her classmates sang the first song while the Deaf family had no idea of what was being sung, if it was enjoyable, etc. It showed them having small talks about their surroundings or thinking about dinner plans. It made me laugh because I do that! I always find myself people-watching at events without accessibility. The second song that Ruby sang, the movie cut off the sound and made all viewers live through a few moments of a Deaf person’s life. I hope that really makes the viewers think about that! It was a powerful moment. 

Do I have criticism for the movie? Of course, no movie is perfect. Instead, I want to focus that there was even a movie made about the Deaf community and put the spotlight on CODA. We all in the Deaf community so much deserve that. I hope that many people watch it (it’s still playing in selected theaters, but available to everyone on Apple+ TV). I went to see the movie twice at the theater, and both times it made me feel so good to see other people there. I was in disbelief that the theater was more than half full. I was expecting sparse audiences. The people also varied from elderly, families, couples and even some came alone. It made me feel so good. These people were willing to watch a movie about my world!