Traveling in Ireland

I was born into an Irish family with strong pride for our Irish heritage. I love everything Irish and about Ireland. It was natural that the first time I left America was for the beautiful countryside of Ireland. It was on my bucket list to see everything that my ancestral country had to offer. I recall being so nervous to leave the customs that I am familiar with especially with my deafness. I had no idea what to expect - how the people over there would react to my deafness? How will they talk to me if I didn’t understand them? Will they be more mean? Will I meet deaf people in Ireland and will they be nice?

Cliffs of Moher in County Clare, Ireland.

First of all, the people in Ireland blew me away. They were AMAZINGLY nice! Ireland is very welcoming to its tourists, the Irish people are very helpful. I interacted with people daily and never came across a mean person. It made the whole experience of traveling through Ireland so much easier. It wasn’t hard to approach a local and get information.

One day I went to tour the House of Waterford Crystal in Waterford, Ireland. The admissions desk noticed that I was deaf when I was signing so they told me that there was someone on the factory tour that knew sign language. They said they would check if he was working that day and make sure that we meet. I figured it was just a hearing person who knew some sign to communicate with all the tourists that came through there daily. Boy, was I wrong! This is when I met my first Irish deaf friend, Brendan. It was first time seeing someone signing a whole new language - Irish Sign Language (ISL). Wait, what? Yes, that’s right - just like verbal language there are different sign language in each country. So many people think sign language is universal but it’s not! I was nervous about not understanding ISL and how to respond. Luckily our first interaction went well, it wasn’t hard to understand what he was saying since some signs were similar to American Sign Language. All sign languages are based on visual cues, I was able to pick up on what Brendan was saying to me - he was telling me about his job as Master Cutter and how long his co-workers had been employed at the Waterford Crystal Factory. I was able to learn some information about the Waterford Crystal Factory that I probably wouldn’t have known if not for meeting him. Whenever I go on tours and see hearing people have that accessibility to talk to people behind the scenes, it makes me sad that I don’t have that luxury due to language barriers. I was glad that I finally got that chance with Brendan. It was the highlight of my trip to Waterford Crystal Factory.

My Irish deaf friend, Brendan working at Waterford Crystal Factory.

Many people that I interacted with in Ireland were very accommodating when I asked for information. When I was in Kilkenny, Ireland I walked in to the Smithwick’s factory into their gift shop to ask the employee for directions. That chat turned into an hour and half long conversation. I was there well past closing! She didn’t rush, taking the time to google things on the internet and draw up a map with lists of places to see for the rest of the time I was in Ireland. I came across another two women who were like this that drew up a map with written lists or directions for me. The girl from Smithwick’s was very fascinated with my deafness, the chat was filled of questions regarding that along with my questions about the general culture in Ireland. She was college aged and told me that she never met a deaf person.

I got the impression that many people in Ireland aren’t as exposed to the deaf community/culture. The Irish population is the same size as Connecticut and Rhode Island combined, but with much more space. The life in Ireland is very rural, I would imagine it would be hard to interact with deaf people unless you were in the metropolitan city like Dublin. I stayed at several homes all over Ireland , some of the hosts were very curious about my deafness. Almost every interaction ended with people asking me how to sign a word (or few). I felt like I was treated as royalty just because of my deafness.

My deafness also helped me to overcome communication issues that happened in Ireland. There are some Irish (mostly in Northern) that spoke the Gaelic language. I was at a restaurant in County Cork when I came across an Irish male that spoke heavy Gaelic. Speaking English wasn’t successful so I was able to gesture with him. The gesturing was the most successful method for our communication. It was funny to be in this kind situation because usually I’m struggling to be understood!

In front of DeafHear, an agency that provides services to the deaf in Ireland.

The airport security was another story. I flew out of Dublin Airport every time. During one of my return trip back home to America, the Dublin Airport Security (DAS) were asking people in line security questions. When I approached them, they pulled me aside. They wanted to ask me the questions directly and have me to answer them directly. I was literally shaking in my boots! The officer went off to talk to his supervisor and came back with a laminated copy of questions. He pointed to the question one at a time and looked at me to have me to shake my head “yes” or “no”. There was only one question where I had to expand my reply so I verbally answered with gesturing which went smoothly. I got pulled aside at United States customs once because there was an outstanding warrant for someone with same name as me (lucky me!). During this questioning ordeal, they allowed my traveling partner to interpret. Looking back at these experience, I was clearly most comfortable having someone to interpret but I have to say that Dublin Airport Security did the right thing. They looked at me as an independent individual which is how most deaf people want to be treated. DAS wasn’t nervous at all to attempt the communication. I was impressed in the end with what they did despite the nervousness I felt in the moment.

It wasn’t a difficult experience traveling all over Ireland with my deafness because of the kindness there. The Irish are very welcoming to the tourists and they definitely had a lot pride for their home country. I hope that when I return to Ireland that I will meet more Irish deaf people to find out more about the community and culture in Ireland. I’m very curious to learn more about Irish deaf culture!

No Sound, No Problem: Experiencing a Concert from a Deaf POV

Happy March everyone!

I’m excited that it’s March because being Irish is one of my most favorite things about life - it’s always so much fun to celebrate my heritage (but I celebrate year round!). This year, Flogging Molly came to town! They started their ‘Life Is Good’ tour at Foxwoods Casino. I had the time of my life! It brought back so many memories for me.

Growing up in an Irish family, my dad was a fan of Flogging Molly so it rubbed off onto me. People always got curious when I said that I liked a specific musician or a band because of my hearing loss. During my middle and high school years, I would learn the lyrics to any songs so that’s how I knew who I “like”. I never thought to listen to them but I started to in college after realizing that I could feel the bass and vibrations of the music when I went to few concerts. I can’t hear the words while the music is being played.

I don’t go to concerts often so I’m still learning about what it’s like when I do go. I thought Flogging Molly would be playing all new songs from their new release which I haven’t got around to research the lyrics or play them. While I was sitting at the concert feeling the bass and vibrations, I found myself feeling deja vu. I felt a sense of familiarity in the music.

There were couple years during college when I was homesick so I commuted the 2 hours drive every weekend. This is when I would blast any music in the car since I was alone on open and bare highway. Flogging Molly was played the most often.

So sitting there at Flogging Molly concert brought back those memories and I was surprised that I could recognize feeling the bass and vibrations after years! I was able to identify the song ‘Drunken Lullabies’ when they played it at the concert.

People were surprised when they saw pictures on my social media of me at Flogging Molly. Probably wondered how is that possible for me? Even through I have my hearing loss, I still enjoy the concert in my own way. On top of feeling the bass and vibrations of the songs, I enjoy the visual aspects of the concerts such as lighting, watching them play on their instruments, etc. I also can feel the excitement of concert-goers. At Flogging Molly, I enjoyed being around so many Irish people who were decked out in newsboys caps, Irish t-shirts, and tweed. It created a fun environment for me.

This blog is not sponsored. All opinions in this blog are my own.

Can you lipread?

The very first question that I get asked every time once someone finds out about my deafness is “can you lipread?” (and yes, they’re verbally asking me this). It’s a misconception that every deaf person knows how to lipread. It’s a skill that is learned. As mentioned in my background blog, I grew up in a mainstreamed setting so I learned how to lipread at a young age.

Lipreading is a difficult skill to learn. It varies on the level of hearing loss and preferred communication method - some deaf people may be experts but some may be lousy. Hearing people often think this is the best method of communication but it is not. I grew up in a mainstreamed setting so I use simultaneous communication - speech and American Sign Language (ASL) as my main method of communication with my family and friends. Signing is the easiest method of communication but I also use speech to help them understand me more since they don’t know EVERY word in sign language. I understand everything when they use ASL with me.

I lipread a little when I’m interacting with strangers in public like at the stores, appointments, etc. If I am aware of what the conversation will be about, I have the ability to lipread most of what is being said. For example, if I go into a coffee shop - I know they will be asking me what size cup, what kind of milk, do I want this added in the drink, etc. It throws me off if they started a conversation that is not topic-related. Often, I would panic and wonder “what are they saying?”. It will take me a few minutes to try and figure out what is being said.

Many people have asked me if it makes a difference if I’m in a one-on-one dialogue vs a group setting discussion. Either way, I am only able to catch a few words from the entire conversation. The benefit of having 1:1 conversation is that I am able to focus on one person and I can ask them to repeat if necessary. Forget it with a group setting! I never catch anything from multiple people talking and they don’t always directly look at me (which helps me to lipread). It is extremely difficult and most of the time I leave those groups wondering what the discussion was about.

One issue that I have faced while trying to lipread a stranger in a public setting is that they get annoyed with me when I ask them to repeat or gesture. They either give up or cut the conversation short. So many people do not realize that lipreading is a substantial task for deaf people. It really requires us to put in a LOT of effort. In the end, I always feel guilty for any miscommunication that happens which isn’t always my fault. I try to ask people to write since that is better than lipreading.

You wouldn’t believe the misunderstandings that can happen from attempting to lipread! When I’m in a dialogue with a stranger, I am likely to catch a few words so I play the whole “fill in the blank” game. There have been some assumptions where I was entirely wrong and made the situations very awkward!

How long does it take me to lipread a new person that may come in my life? I am employed at a public school and I am the only deaf person there. How do I communicate with my hearing co-workers? I do have to lipread most of them. It is always challenging in the beginning of every year when I work with new co-workers. It does help when I see them daily and practice lipreading them. For example, if my co-worker verbally reads a book that I am familiar with, I am able to practice lipreading. It takes me about a month and a half to be able to lipread the majority of what they are saying but I do still occasionally miss some words.

Many people also don’t realize there are things that can prevent me from lipreading! One time at work, we lost power so we were in complete darkness. A co-worker started talking to me but I couldn’t see their lips in the dark! There have been some men that I wasn’t able to lipread because of their mustaches or beards. I can’t read lips when they’re covered with facial hair. It can be very distracting to lipread when someone has objects in their teeth/mouth or any kind of deformity around their mouth.

Accents also prevent me to lipread since people pronounce their words differently. I’ve traveled to Ireland twice where I’ve met many friends. They all spoke English but pronounced their words differently so I wasn’t able to lipread. I have came across New Englanders with strong Boston accents, which again I can’t lipread. I wasn’t raised in Boston so I never learned their pronunciations.

In the end it’s best that you do not assume that all deaf people can lipread. Don’t be afraid to ask them what their preference method of communication is. Most of the time it will be writing on paper or gesturing. Of course it’s most helpful if you know sign language!

All opinions in this blog are my own.

Mystic Knotwork

One thing I love about Mystic are the mom-and-pop shops. There are several in downtown and in the surrounding area. I love supporting local businesses. Naturally the nautical name of Mystic Knotwork drew me into their store when they opened on Cottrell Street in 2015. The store overlooks the Mystic River park - I had been taking a stroll through the park when I saw the store. I had to walk in to see what it was about.

Walking into Mystic Knotwork, there is ropes everywhere! Even the smell of the ropes which takes me back to the childhood summer days on the Finger Lakes in Upstate NY. Every product in the store is handmade by the owners - the Beaudoins. The store was founded by their grandfather in his home then given to the current owner who operated it out of Stonington before moving the store into Mystic.

The knot products varies from bracelets, necklaces, bowls, door mats, monkey fists, ornaments, and many more. They even offer nautical knot decor for weddings such as monkey fists, napkin holders and card holders.

The nautical woven star.

Mystic Knotwork supports many events around town, the Beaudoins are very active members of the community. Their popularity is visible through the ubiquity of their products and decorative contributions. You see their nautical decor in the Whaler’s Inn lobby and several other local businesses. Currently there is a pink nautical rope ribbon in honor of breast cancer awareness on the Mystic drawbridge that was created and contributed by them. They participate in many local fundraisers and shows (including Wooden Boat show at Mystic Seaport). Their role in the community makes me proud to support them.

It didn’t take long before I started having some of their products in my home! A few of my favorites includes a wreath, a bowl, a trivet, and the Christmas star. I have a navy blue and white rope wreath that I hang year-round in my home. I love seeing it daily on the wall in my living room. Last winter I fell in love with their knot star so I got myself a red and white one which will be displayed on top of the tree for first time this upcoming Christmas! Another favorite is a large navy blue rope bowl that I have in my kitchen. It was gifted to me by my parents. I’m aiming for the coasters next!

My custom wreath made by Mystic Knotwork.

Mystic Knotwork is located on Cottrell Street but they also recently opened a retail store on Holmes Street. The Cottrell Street is the original shop which serves as their workshop. Most of time you will be able to watch someone working with the ropes. It’s amazing to watch! The workshop is open to customers - they have a few products for sale there. You also may get lucky to get a greeting from their adorable dog, Betsy! The store on Holmes street (which you can’t miss with the lighthouse fixture attached to the store!) is their retail shop where you will be able to purchase all of their products that were made at the workshop. It’s fun to visit both stores - which I do most of time when I go to downtown Mystic.

Visit their shop at 25 Cottrell Street and 2 Holmes Street in Mystic. If you aren’t local - their products are found in many other shops all over United States and also sell on their website - https://mysticknotwork.com/.

This blog is not sponsored. All opinions in this blog are my own.

The retail shop at 2 Holmes Street.

The workshop at 25 Cottrell Street.

Background

One of my hopes with this blog is to broaden the awareness of deafness. I will be sharing what it's like being deaf. All opinions and experiences in this blog are my own, it does not reflect the opinions or experiences of other deaf people.

Throughout my life I have met many people curious about my deafness, most often these are people who have never know a deaf person or who have had only limited exposure to the deaf community. I encourage people to ask me questions, because I want to bring awareness of deafness into main stream culture. I hope you can learn from me and feel free to email me your inquiring questions! 

Let's start with the background of my deafness. I was born with profound hearing loss with no history of deafness in the family. My parents, brother, grandparents, and relatives are hearing. I use simultaneous communication (sim-com) with American Sign Language and spoken English as my main communication method.

I was born in New Jersey so I lived there for the first few years of my life. When I was 6 months old, my parents noticed that I was not responding to sounds so they brought me to a doctor. The doctor stood adjacent to me and clapped his hands. Naturally I reacted by looking at him, he said “nope, she’s fine.” My parents brought me home with doubts in the back of their minds. When I was 9 months old, we visited family in Upstate New York. This is when they expressed the concerns to my aunt who was a student at Elmira College. My aunt scheduled a hearing test which this is where my parents were told that I am deaf. The people who did the testing did not want to commit to the level of my hearing loss so they suggested my parents schedule a testing with audiologist. My parents took me to an audiologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The audiologist confirmed my hearing loss but said the hearing loss was only moderate. I was fitted with hearing aids that suited that level.

My parents began to research schools for me to attend, two schools came highly recommended: Helen Beebe Speech and Hearing Center in Easton, PA and Summit Speech School in New Providence, NJ. Both of these had focuses on auditory/oral education. It was decided that I would go to Summit Speech School since it was 45 minutes closer to my home. I went there three times a week for 1:1 sessions. The staff worked with me to pronounce sounds.

While I attended Summit Speech School, they had suspicions that my hearing loss was greater than what my parents were told. They recommended to get another hearing test. My parents took me to Beth Israel Medical Center in Newark, NJ. It was discovered then that I had profound hearing loss! I was fitted with another hearing aid that was suited better for profound hearing loss.

By the time I was 3 years old, my family moved to Upstate New York to be closer to family. My parents felt the stress and uncertainty of raising a deaf child so they wanted the support of the family. I went from Summit Speech School in NJ to a program at Elmira College. The only difference was that Elmira College used “total communication” - usage of both spoken English and sign language. This is when I learned American Sign Language (ASL). My parents had hesitancy about me using ASL because Summit Speech School told them that it was bad! Fortunately, I never dropped the speech part. My parents started taking ASL classes shortly after so they can communicate with me.

I grew up the majority of my life in a small hamlet town outside of Elmira, New York. I attended a mainstreamed school. I was the only deaf student with no pre-existing conditions. I had a support team that consisted of a Teacher of the Deaf, interpreter, and a note taker. A deaf community was nonexistence during my childhood because all of my peers attended school for the deaf in Rochester, New York. Rochester was a 2 hours drive from my home. Before you ask why didn’t I go to the deaf school too… I promise a future blog post about it.

After high school graduation I attended the deaf college, National Technical Institute for the Deaf (NTID), at Rochester Institute of Technology in Rochester, NY. This is when I finally was able to be a part of the deaf community. Those years in Rochester probably were the most challenging time in my life discovering myself as a deaf individual. It taught me a lot about finding my place in this world.